Braden and Shreyna

Braden and Shreyna

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

The Little Red Hen Who Needs a Fairy Godmother


**WARNING** Long vent post about my false negative beliefs. If you are struggling with your own, or you've got too big of a plate filled with hard things that are weighing down on you, please don't read. I don't want to add to your burden. If you decide to read anyways, then that is on you, not me.


99.9% of the time I only post the positives and the funnies of our family and how I'm doing. I feel that by doing that, people may secretly have a "perfect picture" of me. That is not my intent. My intent is to keep my personal news positive when there is so much negative in the world. And I don't want to be a constant downer on others. I also know that when you focus on the negatives, you won't see the positives. But, right now, I need to release some false negative beliefs mixed in with the hard truths about myself in an attempt to help me out of my funk. I usually try venting to those I know who can handle it before posting something like this, but this one feels too strong just to do a normal vent.


I have a perfection complex. (I'm pretty sure most of us do, but that doesn't make it easier sometimes). My perfection complex has become a lot better in the last 4 years (moving from an emotionally toxic environment and getting therapy were the biggest help). But I still struggle. Most of the time I can keep it at bay and either ignore it and/or forgive myself for not being perfect. this week is not one of those times. The funny thing is I just gave advice to one of my closest friends about her perfection complex. I guess God decided "You gave her advice on this subject, now let’s have you work on yours that you try to hide." So here it goes...


My perfection complex is over my house and my kids' behaviors. My house is in a constant state of a mess! I ABHOR it!!! I have been working my butt off for a little over a month to FINALLY have it in order AND organized so when I finally do get a job, we can all come home to a nice clean house, I can actually feel relaxed enough to cook on a regular basis, and we can focus on quality family time during the short couple of hours we would all have together before the kids have to go to bed. **Positives** I finally have our things from storage we pulled out in March organized, My craft table and the crafts are cleaned and organized, the kids have a playroom again, I have installed thermal curtains over windows in our coldest rooms to try to reduce our winter electric bill, and more. **Negatives** The house is STILL a disaster! Better, but still a disaster! I haven't even held one of my parties in almost a year because of my house (mostly due to all the storage boxes that's been sitting around. I've been working my butt off for over a month, even with help from an outside source, but I feel like I have nothing to show for it, even though I know I do! I feel like I am not getting any traction, even though I know I am. I feel like that for working so hard and diligently for a month WITH help, I should have been done! I should be relaxing and playing with the kids. I should be training for my carpentry apprenticeship entry test that’s coming up, and I should be job searching in case I don’t make it into the apprenticeship. But I’m not. I’m STILL trying to play catchup. But, I no longer have that help, which is the HARDEST thing to do with someone who is a social cleaner like I am. This is not me asking anyone to come to help me. Even though I have had help this last month, I shy away from asking for help with my house, because I have lost friends. No, actually those “friends” ended up showing their true colors and backstabbed me after volunteering without me asking to “help” me. They stopped being my friend, and from what we can tell spread nasty rumors about us at church because other people stopped being our friend and talking to us. It hurt! That “friend” didn’t even help us clean, she just threw everything in garbage bags without separating (garbage, dirty clothes, clean clothes, dirty dishes, etc. all mixed in together!) and threw them in one room for me to organize at my “convenient” time. So, no. I’m not asking for help. I’m just venting…wishing for a fairy godmother.


My kids are of no help. They act like they don't give a crap and only actually do the chores when I'm pissed off. I'm sick of the backtalk and disrespect. Most people don't see that side, because they act pretty well around others. The most often place people see their disrespect is in the stores, around strangers. A couple days ago, the kids were messing around and roughhousing with each other in the store, regardless of how many times I told them to knock it off. They hadn't listened to me all day and they still weren't listening at the store! That shopping trip, a man told Zander it wasn't nice that he was punching/shoving Kayson (he may not have realized it was out of play, even though they are not allowed to do that in the store). Then he proceeded to go farther and tell my kids that his mom would have had his hide (he worded it differently) if he and his siblings did that. His mom would have taken them out of the store and not shop with them, not get them anything, and go home. I realize that he was trying to help the kids realize that their behavior was unacceptable, and normally I don't mind strangers telling my kids that their behavior is unacceptable. But the way he worded it rubbed me the wrong way! I was already emotionally drained, and tired. This man had no idea that I had been on my own for the weekend because Braden was at drill in another state. He had no idea that the candy and everything else that was in the cart was NOT for my kids, but for scouts the next day. He had no idea that those were things that I was responsible for bringing and other people (not my kids) were depending on me to fulfill my duties. He had no idea how many times I HAVE done exactly what HIS mom did. If the things in the cart were for my kids, I definitely would have put it back, take them out of the store, and not get them anything. But I couldn't do that because I was on my own fulfilling my duties as a Den Leader, Awards Chair, and Committee Member (of course the other two automatically make me a Committee Member). I am not complaining about being in scouts. I feel like it's my only connection to the outside world right now. Even though it's stressful at times, I enjoy it. But, I digress... I have responsibilities that others count on me outside of my kids that I was having to fulfill on my own, without my husband because of his responsibilities. This man's comments to my children made me fill like a s***ty mom for "not disciplining" enough (he did not say that directly, just that impression from my viewpoint). I can normally shrug off people's rude, insensitive comments, looks, and glares regarding my children, but I couldn't this time. Even reminding myself of why I was there and that I am that kind of mom he was describing wasn't helping! I ended up calling Braden to vent to him about what just happened and the day. He was supportive and backed me up. It was only when I was venting off to Braden that the kids FINALLY listened and started behaving! Why do I have to get so upset and angry just so they would listen?!?! The other thing that is really hard for me is my siblings and I were really well-behaved kids. We were not your normal, kids. I don’t think it was anything special my parents did. I think we were just born that way! My mom used to think that how my siblings and I behaved was the norm, but she is learning through me and others that we were not normal children. I think we are aliens who made it easy on her, LOL. But, unfortunately, this image I have of how easy it should be for kids to listen, and respect their parents is because of how my siblings and I are. Seriously, it just makes logical sense to follow the rules, stand up for your values, and show respect. For me, it’s like breathing. Maybe that makes me a sheep…I just don’t understand why it’s so difficult for my children, and really all children. I don’t mean this in a “kids should be seen and not heard” way. I don’t believe in that either. I also don’t mean this to sound like I’m looking down on children (mine or yours), it’s just pure and simple “I don’t understand!” I probably never will either, because it’s not in my nature to be defiant. It’s in my nature to “color in the lines.” Apparently “studies have shown” that kids like mine will be great leaders, entrepreneurs, and go far in life. But, it’s really hard for me to see that when I’m in the thick of it.  

I’m so sick and tired of my kids making me look and feel like a s***ty mom. I’m tired of my house looking like there was a tornado. I want my house to be clean and organized like what I grew up in. I want my kids to realize that by working as a team, keeping up with the house will not be as hard, because there are six of us who can pull the weight instead of just me and Braden. I am tired, I am exhausted, and I feel like a complete and utter failure! I just want a fairy godmother to come to my rescue! I feel like I’m drowning in all this and there’s no way out! I feel like I will never get to be that mom who gets down on the floor with her kids to play with them or have a flour fight with them while baking, read them bedtime stories and sing bedtime songs, and so much more! I want to share with them my fondest memories of my childhood. But, I can’t because I am drowning in my own house while looking and prepping for a job. 

I am the Little Red Hen.

Monday, October 3, 2016

Why We Left

I know many LDS members who read these things get a "sick feeling." This is normal. It is NOT Satan, and it is not God saying this is false. This is the best way I can explain this feeling: this "sick feeling" is like if you grew up without your dad and your mom tells you your whole life he died as a hero, was a fantastic, loving dad and husband. But as a teen or adult you find out that your dad is spending a life sentence for rape, murder, and other atrocities. You would get that same sick feeling. You wouldn't want to believe it, but you know it's true. That is NOT the Devil. That is a fact that goes against everything you grew up believing. You feel like your whole life has been a lie. And no matter how painful it is, no matter how sick about it you feel, no matter how much you wish it wasn't true. The facts are right there and you now know the truth.


We believe in God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit (Ghost) are all one God who exists in three persons. Our God is the ONLY God. There are no other gods and we cannot become gods and goddesses. Isaiah 44:6,8 “Thus saith the Lord the King of Israel, and his redeemer the Lord of hosts; I am the first, and I am the last; and beside me there is no God. Fear ye not, neither be afraid: have not I told thee from that time, and have declared it? ye are even my witnesses. Is there a God beside me? yea, there is no God; I know not any.” Isaiah 45:18 “Thus saith the LORD that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he hath established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited: I am the LORD; and there is none else.” Isaiah 45:18 also establishes that God himself created the heavens and earth. He did not delegate this work to Jesus (as a separate being as is taught in LDS doctrine) and to Michael the Arc Angel. Even the Book of Mormon teaches that God the Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit are one being. Yet, the church does not follow their own doctrine in their own book: Alma 11:26-29 “And Zeezrom said unto him: Thou sayest there is a true and living God? And Amulek said: Yea, there is a true and living God. Now Zeezrom said: Is there more than one God? And he answered, No.” 2 Nephi 31:21 also says, “And now, behold, this is the doctrine of Christ, and the only and true doctrine of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, which is one God, without end. Amen.”  Jesus is God manifest in the flesh. John 14:7-11 says, “If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him. Philip saith unto him, Lord, show us the Father, and it sufficeth us. Jesus saith unto him, Have I been so long time with you, and yet hast thou not known me, Philip? he that hath seen me hath seen the Father; and how sayest thou then, Show us the Father? Believest thou not that I am in the Father, and the Father in me? the words that I speak unto you I speak not of myself: but the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works. Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father in me: or else believe me for the very works' sake.” The apostle Thomas even declared Jesus as God in John 20:26-28 “And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them: then came Jesus, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, Peace be unto you. Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing. And Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God.” Again, the LDS Church’s own book, The Book of Mormon, backs up this gospel truth but teaches against it: Mosiah 15:1-4 “Abinadi said unto them: I would that ye should understand that God himself shall come down among the children of men, and shall redeem his people. And because he dwelleth in flesh he shall be called the Son of God, and having subjected the flesh to the will of the Father, being the Father and the Son—The Father, because he was conceived by the power of God; and the Son, because of the flesh; thus becoming the Father and Son—And they are one God, yea, the very Eternal Father of heaven and of earth.”

God the Father, Jesus Christ, and Holy Spirit are one God and the ONLY God. We cannot become like God, and we cannot become a god. Isaiah 14: 12- 15 says, “How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! [how] art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.” Satan fell because he wanted to be like God, even worse, he wanted to be higher than God. If we try to be like Him and try to become a god, then we will fall like Satan. There is only one God and none other! We are to follow God’s example, not become a god.

Another new belief for us is that there was no “great apostasy” where the church was completely taken away from the face of the earth. Matthew 16:18 says, “And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” If there was a great apostasy, then that would be classified as the gates of hell prevailing over the church. But, Jesus said that will never happen! There was no need for Jesus’ church to be restored because it was never lost to begin with. Jesus’ church survived and continued throughout time.

Because there was no “great apostasy” that would mean that salvation/exaltation was given to those during this time period other than what the LDS church has established today.  As you know, the LDS church teaches that in order to enter heaven/ the highest degree of heaven we must be baptized, receive the Holy Ghost, receive temple endowments, hold a temple recommend, be a full tithe payer, follow the word of wisdom, serve, follow all of God’s commandments, and many more. Nephi taught in 2 Nephi 25:23 “For we labor diligently … to persuade our children … to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do” Moroni said, “Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ” (Moroni 10:32). According to Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “If we use the word salvation to mean ‘exaltation,’ it is premature for any of us to say that we have been ‘saved’ in mortality. That glorious status can only follow the final judgment of Him who is the Great Judge of the living and the dead.” (Ensign, May, 1998). According to LDS teachings, we can never know for sure if we will make it into God’s kingdom until we have died and have been judged. However, 1 John 5:13 says, “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.” We can KNOW if we will make it into God’s kingdom or not. We don’t have to guess or worry about it. How can we know? First, Romans 3:10 states, “There is none righteous, no, not one.” Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” ALL of us are sinners. No one is more righteous than the other and that includes worthiness to enter a temple. Romans 5:6,8 says, “For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” There is no “after all we can do” because we have no strength of our own to do all we can do. Romans 6:23 says, “The wages of sin is death; but, the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Jesus fully satisfied “the wages of sin” when He offered himself as a sacrifice for the sins of the world. And, on the cross, He purchased a gift that He offers to all. The gift is ETERNAL LIFE! A gift is not a gift if it must be earned. Eternal life was bought and paid for by Jesus. A gift is also not ours if we do not accept the gift. We cannot earn eternal life by our works (service, temple attendance, tithing, etc). In Galatians 2:21 the Apostle Paul said, “I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness comes by the law, then Christ is dead in vain.” If we could earn eternal life by keeping the law and working our way into heaven, which would mean making ourselves worthy, then Christ would have died in vain. But Christ did not die in vain, He died to save us. 1 Corinthians 1:18 “For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.” He sacrificed himself for our sins on the cross, not in Gethsemane.

If we cannot work our way into heaven, then how do we get into heaven? Romans 10:9-10 teaches, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” I know most, if not all, members of the LDS church know that Jesus sacrificed himself for us. But there is a difference between knowledge and believing with your heart. For instance, we (Braden and Shreyna) were born and raised in the LDS church. We knew (in our heads) that Jesus died for us, and because of that he forgives us with our sins. But when we did something wrong, we felt God would forgive everyone else but us. We felt everyone else was more righteous for God do forgive them. Yet, we knew that he died for us, but it was hard for us to believe he would forgive us and accept our broken heart and repentance. With believing in our heart that Jesus died and was raised from the dead, we know longer worry if God will forgive us. We know we are unworthy, because we are all sinners, but we have accepted God’s gift and invited him into our lives and heart. It’s because of that acceptance of His gift that He forgives us and we KNOW of a surety our salvation, which we did not earn through works. In Ephesians 2:8-9, the Apostle Paul preached the same message, “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” Grace is not granted “after all we can do” or “if we deny ourselves of all ungodliness.” Grace is God’s gift to us in spite of our unrighteousness. Grace is not grace if it must be earned. Do you KNOW if you have been saved through God gift of grace? All you need to do is A) admit you are a sinner and ask God to forgive you. B) Believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross for your sins. And C) Confess that Jesus is your Lord. We know we are sinners, and we ask him every day to forgive us of our sins. Being saved from our sins by excepting God’s gift does not give us a free ticket to sin. When we are saved, we become a “new creature” (2 Corinthians 5:17) with the desire to do righteous things. But we are still human, we still battle our desires of the flesh. We still need to repent of our sins after being saved. Being saved is the beginning of a relationship with God. We need to read and study the Word of God, the Bible to grow and strengthen our relationship with Him. We believe in our hearts that Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins. We love sharing the good news Of Jesus’ loving sacrifice and declaring him as our Lord, Savior, and God to those around us.



Below is an essay explanation of provable points as to why we have decided to leave the church. These points are not spiritual based, but fact based. These reasons are just a tip of the iceberg for us. Again, we know this is probably the longest letter you have most likely received, but we wanted to share this with you, not as “anti” literature, but to help you understand where we are coming from and where so many others like us are coming from.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints (AKA LDS church or Mormon) claims to be the only true and living church on the earth, just as it was originally established by Jesus Christ during His ministry (“Restoration”). Many members of the church believe this teaching. Still, there are some who do not believe that the church is the restored church of Jesus Christ. There is an unspoken fear of looking at the reasons why some members question and sometimes leave the church. Church leaders of today have cautioned members about looking at information about the church that is not published by the church (Uchtdorf). There used to be a time when general authority church leaders encouraged members to investigate the church and prove the truthfulness of the church. J. Reuben Clark who died in 1961 was a counselor in the First Presidency of the LDS church when he advised the members to investigate the church because it will not be damaged if it is true. If the church is not true, then it should be damaged (qtd. in Palmer 39). It is time to stop being afraid to investigate The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. With members of the church leaving their religion after finding out hidden truths, there are strong evidences that point to the church not being the only true church restored on the earth. The members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints should not believe the church's claim to being the only true church as established by Jesus Christ.

Devout members discuss the reasons why their fellow brothers and sisters of the church fall away from their religion is because they have either been offended, have a desire to sin, never gained their own testimony, studied lies about the church, or stopped doing their basic daily spiritual activities (Dehlin “Top”). These myths are a misconception to the real reasons why people leave the church. Most Post-Mormons (and those still “in the closet”) were devout, true believing members who held leadership positions in the church and served missions (Dehlin “Understanding” 5). John Dehlin conducted an online survey consisting of 3,086 disbelievers who have left or are still in the closet to figure out the real reason why once-devout-members leave the church. He discovered that in accordance with the myths, the desire to sin and being offended at church only ranked at 4% (each) of the sample.  In contrast, the top four reasons for leaving are: no longer believing in the church’s doctrine/theories at 74%, studying the real church history at 70%, losing faith in Joseph Smith (the founding prophet of the church) at 70%, and no longer believing the Book of Mormon at 65% of the survey sample. The majority of the respondents had multiple major issues that helped them decide to leave the church (Dehlin “Understanding” 8).  According to the study, the desire to sin and being offended are not the main reasons why members choose to leave the church.

Investigating the validity of one’s own religion is no easy task. It takes a mental and emotional toll on the student of said religion. It can feel like the world is turned upside down and the student may no longer know what is true and what is false. Regardless, in the name of seeking truth, it can be worth it if it is the student’s desire. For the members leaving The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints, losing belief in the church’s doctrine and theology is the biggest proponent to leaving the church; some of which include the origins of the church, the Adam-God theory and the authenticity of the “Book of Abraham”. Examining the truthfulness of a church consists of spiritual matter, which is impossible to prove or disprove and will consist of speculations through looking at consistencies. However, there are some elements claimed by the LDS church that can be proven through science and evidence.

It is taught within the church and in the mission field that in the spring of 1820, a fourteen year old boy named Joseph Smith desired to know which church was true and he would join that church. While pondering, he came across the scripture James 1:5 which encourages readers to ask God for answers to questions. Inspired by this scripture, Smith went into the woods behind his house to pray. At the beginning of his prayer, Smith was engulfed by darkness that prevented him from praying. This darkness was Satan’s power. When he was about to give up fighting the darkness and give into it, he saw a light shining from above and slowly descend onto him. In the light he saw two people, God the Father and Jesus Christ. Jesus told Smith not to join any of the churches because they have all become corrupt. He started telling the preachers of different sects his vision. He recounted that all the sects were united in persecuting him for his vision because they believed that visions and revelations stopped when the apostles died. Smith professed the truthfulness of his vision even though no one believed him (Smith 48-51).

Joseph Smith’s first vision experience is a remarkable, faith promoting story when taken at face value. However, when the story is investigated, one can find many different versions of the first vision. The table below is a compilation of eight different accounts of the first vision and exposes the differences and similarities between each version (Church). The table is in two separate pieces, but make one complete table. 


There are enough similarities and themes throughout each version that to listeners in general would not seem enough to sound fabricated. To a trained and observant listener, the differences might seem too vast to be believable. Joseph Smith tossed back and forth between seeing a pillar of light and a pillar of fire. At one point he combined the two and said that it was a pillar of light so bright that he thought the leaves would catch on fire. He couldn’t make up his mind as to who he saw in the vision; angels, Jesus, God and Jesus, or two identical heavenly beings. With such a magnificent, spiritual event, it would be difficult to forget who exactly was seen. The personages in the vision should have stayed the same all throughout the vision. The message from the heavenly beings kept changing as well even though they had a common theme. Some messages only mentioned being forgiven of sins, others mentioned forgiveness, and to never join the abominable churches, and others only said to never join the corrupt churches. The themes stayed the same, but the stories kept changing. If Smith was standing trial in the court of law today sharing each of these eight accounts with the jury, he would be found guilty of lying. In the court, the accounts would not be used as proof in Smith’s favor, but rather to prove that he is not credible (Green, Nesson, and Murray).

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints has admitted to the multiple various accounts of the first vision in an essay on their website. The church mentions some of the critics’ view on the different variations. They support their belief by stating that it is natural to have accounts differing in emphasis and details when discussing with different types of audiences (First). Considering the audience is an important factor when talking or writing to an audience. It happens every day. Joseph Smith most likely did consider the audience he was talking to. However, he goes beyond considering the audience. Changing the story from Jesus Christ and God as the characters in the vision to two identical heavenly beings is an example of considering the audience. Changing the characters from a host of angels to Jesus Christ and God is going beyond taking the audience into consideration; that is changing the story. Modifying a pillar of light to a pillar of fire is changing the story. Altering the message of the vision from being forgiven of sins and never mentioning the corruption of all churches to never mentioning being forgiven but mentioning all churches are corrupt is changing the story. Some would think that the altering message would be Smith considering the audience, but he, himself, said that he could not deny what he saw and heard, nor did he even dare to deny it (Smith 51). If he was so convicted and could not be persuaded to deny it, then he would have no need to change his story. He changed his story even when talking to members of the church. It would be nonessential for him to consider who he was talking to when conversing with different members of his own congregation.

Another issue with Smith’s story is the message he supposedly received that all churches are an abomination and he is forbidden to join any of the sects. The alleged first vision event occurred in 1820. In 1828, while translating the Book of Mormon, Smith joined the local Methodist Episcopal Church and had his name put on the class-book. Emma Smith’s close relatives, the Lewis brothers, who were members of the Methodist church Smith joined were not pleased by the disgrace of having Smith join the church. Smith withdrew from the church three days later to avoid having his character put on trial by the church (Wyl 80). There is also evidence that Smith’s family didn’t leave the Presbyterian Church until 1828 as well (Brodie 24). If Smith and his family completely believed in his vision and the message he received, they never would have tried to join or stayed in any other church. There is also evidence that there was no mention of angels, visions, or seeing Jesus and God until much later (Wyl 80). There was no mention of Smith’s soul shattering vision experience in the newspapers, in Lucy Smith’s 1831 letter to her brother, or anything else (Brodie 23-24). It was common during Smith’s childhood and early adult life for men and women to have similar visionary experiences, including Smith’s own father. It would not have been difficult for him to find people to believe his visions. Some of these other visionary people claimed to have had dreams or visions of Christ coming and a destruction of the majority of the world to usher in the millennium (Brodie 22). These conflicts increase the chances of Smith’s vision being a fabrication of his imagination. Smith’s claim of no one believing him and being persecuted by everyone is unsound. If he was persecuted in 1820 for his vision, it would not have been by everyone. There would have been plenty of others who would have believed him from the beginning because of their own visionary experience or simply because of believing in dreams and visions.

The children of the LDS church learn a favorite song called “Follow the Prophet.” The children are taught to always follow the prophet and never go astray from his teachings. The prophet is the only one who will always teach the people the truth and never teach false doctrine. In The LDS October 2010 General Conference, by Elder Claudio R. M. Costa of the Presidency of the Seventy reiterated in his talk “Obedience to the Prophets” the importance of following the prophet. He reminds the listeners of the fourteen essential points in following the prophet. The first point is the prophet is the only person on Earth who can communicate the Lord’s desire for everything. Second, the current prophet is more important than the scriptures (i.e. the Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price). The third essential point is the current prophet is more important than past prophets who have died. The fourth point and the last one relevant to this topic is the prophet will never guide the church awry. Because of the Lord’s perfect righteousness He is not allowed and cannot allow His prophet to teach the church false doctrine. If any prophet tries to teach false doctrine, then the Lord will remove the prophet from his calling and place a righteous prophet in his stead (Costa). On April 9, 1852 the second prophet of the church, President Brigham Young introduced a doctrine that surprised his audience and followers. He taught the church that Adam, the first man on earth, is the Archangel Michael, Heavenly and Earthly Father, and God. Adam is the only God anyone needs to acknowledge. Adam created Earth and brought seeds from another planet to plant on this Earth. Adam, not the Holy Ghost and not Eloheim, is the Father of Jesus Christ. Jesus was conceived by Adam and the Virgin Mary in the same way that Adam and Eve conceived Cain and Abel. He proclaimed this doctrine as truth and it is a great mystery of the Kingdom of Heaven. The belief of the Adam-God doctrine is essential to one’s Salvation (Young “Self”). Almost eighteen years later, Young exclaimed that he had never taught a sermon that could not be considered scripture (Young “Latter”). Another three years later, Young gave another address to the members of the church stating that he is appalled by how many LDS members still do not believe the doctrine he started teaching twenty-one years ago that Adam is God and Father (Young “Discourse”) of all men. Brigham young clearly taught that Adam is not only the first man on Earth, but also the same man who created Earth, and is God. Young wanted everyone to believe the doctrine he was teaching. He didn’t just teach this one time, he taught it repetitively throughout his years as the prophet of the church. He taught that his teachings are so correct and true that it can be considered scripture. However, not everyone agreed with Young’s teachings both during and after his time. One hundred-twenty-four years later the twelfth prophet since Joseph Smith, Spencer W. Kimball, made a declaration to the church in regards to the Adam-God doctrine. He warned the members against doctrines that do not line up with the teachings of the scriptures including the Adam-God doctrine. He cautioned everyone to not believe Brigham Young’s teaching of Adam being God and other inaccurate doctrines (Kimball). It was established earlier that the prophet is the only one on Earth who will not lead God’s church astray. The current prophet is more important than the scriptures and past prophets. Because the prophet’s words are more important than scriptures, then his words do not have to coincide with the words of the scriptures. Brigham Young would then be in the right to teach a doctrine that is not in line with the scriptures. However, Spencer W. Kimball declared Young’s teachings as a false doctrine and the church now rejects it. If the prophet will never lead God’s church astray, then Young’s Adam-God doctrine would still be true today just as it was in his day. The church now exclaims it is a false doctrine. Then that would mean Brigham Young was a false prophet for teaching a false doctrine; or Kimball and every prophet after him are now false prophets because they denounce the Adam-God doctrine. Even if Kimball is correct, today’s prophet can still teach doctrine that tomorrow’s prophet will deem as a false doctrine. It has always been taught that the prophets as mortal men are fallible, but it also goes to show that when they are claiming to speak in behalf of the Lord, their words, supposedly from the Lord, can still be fallible.
Another topic of a prophet being fallible speaking as a mouthpiece for God is Joseph Smith and his translation of the “Book of Abraham.” This is another big problem for doubting members and those who have left The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. In the “Book of Abraham” in the Pearl of Great Price the life of Father Abraham of the Bible is recapped and given in more detail in certain areas. The book overviews Abraham’s journeys, gives an account of a revelation Abraham is given of the cosmos, life in Heaven before coming to Earth including the great war in Heaven between Lucifer and Jesus, the creation and the fall of Adam and Eve in more detail than the Bible gives. The validity of the “Book of Abraham” and, because of modern technology, the revelation of the cosmos are the two topics of the “Book of Abraham” that is able to be proven.

In 1835 Michael Chandler presented Egyptian papyri to Joseph Smith asking him to translate it. Smith said they were the writings of Abraham and Joseph of Egypt. Smith paid $2400 to obtain the papyri and the mummies Chandler had regarding these two Biblical figures. Smith translated part of the Papyri into the “Book of Abraham.” He declared the papyri were Abraham’s writings while in Egypt, along with Joseph of Egypt’s writings (Palmer 26-27). He translated what he determined to be the “Book of Abraham.”  In 1861 T. Deveria noticed errors throughout Smith’s translation which will be discussed later. The Papyri eventually ended up in a museum in Chicago. It was believed that they were lost in the great Chicago fire in 1871. The lost Egyptian papyri once owned by Smith were eventually acquired by the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. On November 27, 1967 the museum gave the eleven remnants of Smith’s papyri to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints (Ritner 162).  The Papyri was once again available for evaluation and translation. Klaus Baer completely translated the remaining artifacts (Ritner 163). The real translation of the papyri regards the afterlife of an Egyptian priest named Hor. Joseph Smith’s papyri is a funerary script for Hor called the “Book of Breathing.” It is to help make sure the individual’s after life is blessed. Their status is elevated to divinity and they are promised rejuvenating powers which includes the human senses and the breath of life. For a deceased individual to have their “Book of Breathing” it grants permission to have access to the gods. The papyri absolutely never mentions Abraham (Ritner 166). Even the LDS church admits the differences in translation between Smith and Egyptologist scholars both Mormon and non-Mormon. They also point out that Abraham is never mentioned in the scholarly translation. Much of the church’s explanation for the differences is comparable to the game “telephone”; messages can change from one writer to another. The problem with this explanation is that Smith, Egyptologist scholars in the 1800’s and today all translated the same exact papyri. The particular papyri of interest was never changed or rewritten. The other explanations given by the church are all speculation, none of which are facts, unlike their scholarly counterparts. In the church’s conclusion they try to convince their readers that the debate simply cannot be settled. This statement is clearly a fallacy because the Egyptian writings have been decoded and proven for well over one hundred years. The church encourages its readers to  ignore what the scholars have said and discover the truthfulness of the “Book of Abraham” through studying the teachings of the book, pray faithfully to know the truth, and have the Spirit confirm the truth to each individual (“Translation”). While this may be a good method to use on matters that require faith (e.g. the existence of God, Jesus’ redeeming grace, etc), the truthfulness of the “Book of Abraham” can be tested thanks to the remaining papyri artifacts and it should be and has been tested.

The other problem with the “Book of Abraham” is the teachings of the cosmos. In Facsimile three point five in the “Book of Abraham” Smith interprets and teaches that the sun borrows light from Kolob (the planet closest to Heaven) through a governing power. The sun only governs fifteen planets and stars including the moon. With modern day technology, it is well known that all of these claims and teachings are false (Smith 41). In the third chapter of the “Book of Abraham” these claims were given as facts (Smith 34). In addition, the people in Smith’s time believed the sun has a solid surface, and people live on the surrounding planets including the sun (qtd. in Palmer 22). The belief of inhabitants on other planets in this solar system and the surface of the sun were not taught as doctrine but were the beliefs of the people, members of the church, and scholars of the time. NASA has discovered that the sun does not have any solid surface. The sun’s core creates energy which powers the sun and supplies all the light and heat Earth receives. The sun does not borrow light from Kolob or any other planet (“Our” 6). It is now common knowledge that there are far more than fifteen stars and planets that are influenced by the sun. In the sun’s solar system, there are eight planets (including Earth), five dwarf planets, 146 moons, and twenty-seven moons waiting for formal acceptance as moons, plus all the stars that can be seen (“Our” 4). That is definitely more than fifteen stars and planets combined. It is also general knowledge that Earth is the only inhabited planet in this solar system.

There are insurmountable evidences showing that the members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints should not believe the church's claim to being the only true church as established by Jesus Christ. The examples shown here are just the very beginning of the falsification of the church. The credibility of Joseph Smith is flimsy at best. False doctrine (e.g. the Adam-God doctrine) was taught and then later on covered up and pretended like it was never taught as doctrine. Because of these false doctrines being claimed as coming from God, the issues of false prophets are added into the tangled pile of issues that drive once-devout members away from the LDS church. The validity of the “Book of Abraham” has been proven false over and over again by both Mormon and non-Mormon Scholars due to the translation and the teachings of the cosmos. To be truly honest with one’s own self and be genuinely objective, anyone, including devout LDS members need to sincerely consider the facts that point against the church. There are too many facts and probabilities against The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints for the church to still be true. There are spiritual aspects mentioned that cannot be proven or disproved, but there are some elements that can be and as in most everything, there are different perspectives of the issues at hand. For Post-Mormons in general, these are just a few reasons why they no longer believe The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints to be the only true existing church as established by Jesus Christ during his ministry.

(NOTE, not a part of the essay): Some of the sources on here are from books written by other people who have left the LDS church. I used some of these source to add more variety to the sources. If you feel so inclined, please follow the sources yourself to find the first hand source. Thank you for taking the time to read this all the way through. I am more than happy to share more information with you, but I do not need an explanation as to why I should come back to the church. Our minds have been set, and cannot be altered. This was not an easy decision for us. Why tried hard to stay in the church. We searched for explanations for these things to keep us in the church, but we could not find any. We have, as noted earlier, found a relationship with Christ! We no longer just know of Him and what He did, we now believe in our hearts of His sacrificial love for us! We have never been closer to God as we are now, and we are drawing closer to Him every day! We love you, and most importantly, God loves you!



Works Cited
Brodie, Fawn M. No Man Knows My History. United States of America: First Vintage Books
Edition, 1995. Print.

Church History Department of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. “Primary Accounts of Joseph Smith’s First Vision of Deity.” The Joseph Smith Papers. The Church Historian’s Press. 2015. Web. 28 November 2015. http://josephsmithpapers.org/site/accounts-of-the-first-vision?p=1&highlight=first%20vision.

Costa, Claudio R. M. “Obedience to the Prophet.” Ensign November 2010. Lds.org. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. November 2010. Web. 19 October 2015. https://www.lds.org/ensign/2010/11/obedience-to-the-prophets?lang=eng.
Dehlin, John. “Understanding Mormon Disbelief.” www.whymormonsquestion.org. March 2011. Web. 11 September 2015.

---. “Top 5 Myths and Truths about Why Committed Mormons Leave the Church.” Mormonstories.org. 12 June 2014. Web. 23 October 2015. http://mormonstories.org/top-5-myths-and-truths-about-why-committed-mormons-leave-the-church/.

“First Vision Accounts.” Lds.org. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. n.d. Web. 27 November 2015. https://www.lds.org/topics/first-vision-accounts?lang=eng.
Green, Eric D., Charles R. Nesson, and Peter L. Murray. Problems, Cases, and Materials on Evidence 3rd Edition. “Chapter V: Hearsay.” Teacher’s Manual. Harvard Law. 2000. Web. 27 November 2015. http://www.law.harvard.edu/publications/evidenceiii/professorspages/tmch5c.htm.

Kimball, Spencer W. “Our Own Liahona.” Ensign. Nov 1976. Lds.org. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. Web. 24 Oct 2015. https://www.lds.org/ensign/1976/11/our-own-liahona?lang=eng.

“Our Solar System.” Nasa.gov. National Aeronautics and Space Administration. July 2013. Web. 28 Oct. 2015. http://www.nasa.gov/sites/default/files/files/Solar_System_Set_Cover.pdf.
Palmer, Grant H. An Insider’s View of Mormon Origins. Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 2002. Print.

“Restoration of Jesus Christ’s Church.” Mormon.org. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. n.d. Web. 23 October 2015. https://www.mormon.org/beliefs/restoration.

Ritner, Robert K. "'The Breathing Permit Of Hôr' Among The Joseph Smith Papyri." Journal Of Near Eastern Studies 62.3 (2003): 161-180. MLA International Bibliography. Web. 11 Sept 2015.

Smith, Joseph. The Pearl Of Great Price : A Selection From The Revelations, Translations, And Narrations Of Joseph Smith. n.p.: Salt Lake City, Utah: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 2012. Print.

 “Translation and Historicity of the Book of Abraham.” Lds.org. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. n.d. Web. 27 Oct. 2015 https://www.lds.org/topics/translation-and-historicity-of-the-book-of-abraham?lang=eng.

Uchtdorf, Dieter F. “What is Truth?” Lds.org. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. 13 Jan. 2013. Web. 28 Oct 2015 https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/ces-devotionals/2013/01/what-is-truth?lang=eng.

Wyl, W. Mormon Portraits or the Truth about the Mormon Leaders from 1830 to 1886: Story of the Danite's Wife; Mountain Meadows Massacre Reexamined; A Thousand Fresh Facts and Documents Gathered Personally in Utah from Living Witnesses. Salt Lake City: Tribune Printing and Publishing Company, 1886. Print. Retrieved on 4 December 2015 from http://www.fullerconsideration.com/images/josephsmithproph01wyme.pdf.

Young, Brigham. “Discourse” The Deseret News. 18 June 1873: 4. Digitalnewspapers.org. The University of Utah. Web. 20 Oct. 2015. http://udn.lib.utah.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/deseretnews3/id/143021/rec/25.

---. “Latter-Day Saint Families—Preaching the Gospel—Building Up the Kingdom.” Journal of Discourses 13.13 (1870): 87-95 Journalofdiscourses.com. n.d. Web. 19 Oct. 2015. http://journalofdiscourses.com/13/13.

---. “Self-Government—Mysteries—Recreation and Amusements, Not in Themselves Sinful—Tithing—Adam, Our Father and Our God.” Journal of Discourses 1.8 (1852): 46-53 Journalofdiscourses.com. n.d. Web. 19 Oct. 2015. http://journalofdiscourses.com/1/8.

Our Answers to Elder M. Russell Ballard's Questions Oct 2016 General Conference

WARNING: Some of you may unfriend us, block us, and/or never speak to us again. We are saddened by those who decide to do so. I will probably cry over the loss of friends and/or family who may never want to associate with me/us again, but we are prepared for it to happen. We want you to know, this is NOT easy for us. We (or at least I) have been terrified to come out with this, for fear of what friends, and especially family will think.

NOTE: We know many LDS members who read these things get a "sick feeling." This is normal. It is NOT Satan, and it is not God saying this is false. This is the best way I can explain this feeling: this "sick feeling" is like if you grew up without your dad and your mom tells you your whole life he died as a hero, was a fantastic, loving dad and husband. But as a teen or adult you find out that your dad is spending a life sentence for rape, murder, and other atrocities. You would get that same sick feeling. You wouldn't want to believe it, but you know it's true. That is NOT the Devil. That is a fact that goes against everything you grew up believing. You feel like your whole life has been a lie. And no matter how painful it is, no matter how sick about it you feel, no matter how much you wish it wasn't true. The facts are right there and you now know the truth.

Elder M. Russell Ballard asked many, many questions to those questioning their faith (LDS church) during October 2016 General Conference. Braden and I have chosen to answer them. We usually try to avoid saying anything about things we don’t agree with, but this was too much for us to ignore. We need to answer these, and we need to clear things up for you guys. I will post the time in the GC video clip these questions are asked (min:sec)

Q1: 3:51 “If you choose to become inactive or leave the (1) restored Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, (2) where will you go? (3) What will you do?”

A: (1) The restored church: Matthew 16:18 says, “And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” If there was a great apostasy, then that would be classified as the gates of hell prevailing over the church. But, Jesus said that will never happen! There was no need for Jesus’ church to be restored because it was never lost to begin with. Jesus’ church survived and continued throughout time. How did the church survive? Colossians 1:18 “And he is the head of the body, the church:…” 1 Corinthians 12:12-14, 27 “For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ. For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit. For the body is not one member, but many… Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.” The church has always been the body (individuals) of believers.

(2) Where will you go? This is asked as if there is nowhere else to go? Of course there are plenty of places to go. Many people, after leaving the church, has a hard time following other religions/churches. Many do have a hard time continuing to believe in God and Jesus, because they feel like they have been lied to all their life and guard themselves from that happening again. Or they always had a different view of life, God, Jesus, any form of deity and have decided to be true to themselves and follow the path that feels right or true to them. This can be atheist, agnostic, pagan, scientology, Celtic, Muslim, catholic, Christianity, or something completely different. As for me and Braden, we chose mainstream Christianity and have been going to Fundamental Baptist Churches for the last 1.5 years. Yes, we are now considered “born-again Christians.”

(3) What will you do? We will do whatever we want! We still do not drink (we have tasted wine and we thought it was disgusting…sorry wine lovers). We still do not do drugs. We DO drink coffee (GASP!), and we do drink caffeinated teas (GASP AGAIN!). We also go to church, bible study, and other activities that help us draw closer to God. We still read the Bible, yes we still read KJV. I wear shorter shorts, I wear things that reveals my shoulders and some of my back, I wear tank tops. We shop on Sundays. We do family activities on Sundays, we let our kids play at the park on Sundays. Amazingly, NONE of these things stop my relationship with God from growing! As a matter of fact, the practically only music I like to listen to now is worship music! I have a REALLY hard time listening to anything else.

Q2: 4:15 “There may be some doctrine, some policy, some bit of history that puts you at odds with your faith.”

A: Yup, that pretty much sums it up. The amazing thing is most everything members of the LDS church believe are “anti-mormon” and lies about the church are ACTUALLY and in FACT true! Does it make it anti-mormon? Nope, it’s just fact.

Q3 (Statement): 4:22 “We must not assume that just because something is unexplainable by us, it is unexplainable.”

A: Elder Ballard, what things are you referring to as unexplainable? Many of us who have left the church can assume what you mean, but can you explain it to those who are not questing, or have never questioned, and especially those who have never heard any of the so-called “anti-mormon” things? Here’s the thing, these things are not explainable by the church or members because they (the church) does not accept the explanation. The explanation is right there! Many people ask us, “Why do you feel the need to prove things? You never did before!” Our answer to that is 1) we’ve had some of these questions “up on a shelf” for years. It finally got so great that we searched for answers. 2) 1 Thessalonians 5:21 “PROVE all things; hold fast that which is good.” Yes, there are good things in the LDS church, but we felt like we were living a lie staying in a church that tells us to be honest, but aren’t honest themselves, and tells us to just believe and follow everything the LDS Prophet and Apostles tell us, and yet, the bible tells us to PROVE all things. We tried to stay in, but we couldn’t without feeling like we were lying to ourselves. Some of you may have found out some (or all) of the same things we did and are still happy in the church, and still believe in the church. Good for you, we’re happy for you. We just couldn’t do it. And guess what, we ARE happy and it’s NOT fake, and it’s NOT temporary!

Q4 (Plea): 5:36 “So, before you make that spiritually perilous choice to leave, I encourage you to stop and think carefully what it was that brought you to your testimony of the restored church of Jesus Christ in the first place, stop and think about what you felt here and why you felt it. Think about the times the Holy Ghost has born witness to you of eternal truths.”



A: Here’s the thing: all religions, including cults have some kind of spiritual experience that people believe that is their proof their religion is the truth! Watch this video to see what I mean: https://youtu.be/ycUvC9s4VYA Braden and I do not believe in any religion being the one and only true religion. We do, however, believe in God and believe in having a relationship with Him. We of course do want others to experience what we have, but we also support individual choices. We have come across other friends who have left the church, chose a different path than us, but are also experiencing a relationship with God/deity/the universe. They too feel more free and happy than before, just like us.

Q5: 6:07 “Where will you go to find others who share your beliefs in a personal, loving Heavenly parents who teach us how to return to their eternal presence? Where will you go to be taught about a savior who is your best friend?”

A: Granted, our Christian friends do not believe in a Heavenly Mother, and we personally are not concerned about whether or not there is a Heavenly Mother. However, they have taught us how to join God’s kingdom and be in His presence in Heaven. Here is what we learned, but first a little back history on what the LDS Church teaches, even though most of you reading this already knows. Nephi taught in 2 Nephi 25:23 “For we labor diligently … to persuade our children … to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do Moroni said, “Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ” (Moroni 10:32). According to Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “If we use the word salvation to mean ‘exaltation,’ it is premature for any of us to say that we have been ‘saved’ in mortality. That glorious status can only follow the final judgment of Him who is the Great Judge of the living and the dead.” (Ensign, May, 1998). According to LDS teachings, we can never know for sure if we will make it into God’s kingdom until we have died and have been judged. However, 1 John 5:13 says, “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.” We can KNOW if we will make it into God’s kingdom or not. We don’t have to guess or worry about it. How can we know? First, Romans 3:10 states, “There is none righteous, no, not one.” Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” ALL of us are sinners. No one is more righteous than the other and that includes worthiness to enter a temple. Romans 5:6,8 says, “For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” There is no “after all we can do” because we have no strength of our own to do all we can do. Romans 6:23 says, “The wages of sin is death; but, the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Jesus fully satisfied “the wages of sin” when He offered himself as a sacrifice for the sins of the world. And, on the cross, He purchased a gift that He offers to all. The gift is ETERNAL LIFE! A gift is not a gift if it must be earned. Eternal life was bought and paid for by Jesus. A gift is also not ours if we do not accept the gift. We cannot earn eternal life by our works (service, temple attendance, tithing, etc). In Galatians 2:21 the Apostle Paul said, “I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness comes by the law, then Christ is dead in vain.” If we could earn eternal life by keeping the law and working our way into heaven, which would mean making ourselves worthy, then Christ would have died in vain. But Christ did not die in vain, He died to save us. 1 Corinthians 1:18 “For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.” He sacrificed himself for our sins on the cross, not in Gethsemane. 

If we cannot work our way into heaven, then how do we get into heaven? Romans 10:9-10 teaches, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” I know most, if not all, members of the LDS church know that Jesus sacrificed himself for us. But there is a difference between knowledge and believing with your heart. For instance, we (Braden and Shreyna) were born and raised in the LDS church. We knew (in our heads) that Jesus died for us, and because of that he forgives us with our sins. But when we did something wrong, we felt God would forgive everyone else but us. We felt everyone else was more righteous for God do forgive them. Yet, we knew that he died for us, but it was hard for us to believe he would forgive us and accept our broken heart and repentance. With believing in our heart that Jesus died and was raised from the dead, we know longer worry if God will forgive us. We know we are unworthy, because we are all sinners, but we have accepted God’s gift and invited him into our lives and heart. It’s because of that acceptance of His gift that He forgives us and we KNOW of a surety our salvation, which we did not earn through works. In Ephesians 2:8-9, the Apostle Paul preached the same message, “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” Grace is not granted “after all we can do” or “if we deny ourselves of all ungodliness.” Grace is God’s gift to us in spite of our unrighteousness. Grace is not grace if it must be earned. Do you KNOW if you have been saved through God gift of grace? All you need to do is A) admit you are a sinner and ask God to forgive you. B) Believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross for your sins. And C) Confess that Jesus is your Lord. We know we are sinners, and we ask him every day to forgive us of our sins. Being saved from our sins by excepting God’s gift does not give us a free ticket to sin. When we are saved, we become a “new creature” (2 Corinthians 5:17) with the desire to do righteous things. But we are still human, we still battle our desires of the flesh. We still need to repent of our sins after being saved. Being saved is the beginning of a relationship with God. We need to read and study the Word of God, the Bible to grow and strengthen our relationship with Him. We believe in our hearts that Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins. We love sharing the good news Of Jesus’ loving sacrifice and declaring him as our Lord, Savior, and God to those around us. Jesus is more of our best friend than when we were following the teachings of the LDS church.

Q6: 7:19 Where will you go to find a detailed, inspired church organization, a structure through which you are taught, supported by men and women who are deeply committed to serving the Lord by serving you and your family?”

A: Again, the Baptist Church, our home church, we attend, and the other Baptist churches we use to go to, have done this in MORE ways than the LDS church EVER has for us! Most people don’t know this, but while we lived in Utah, I (Shreyna) was so depressed. I was so depressed that I was borderline suicidal! I didn’t want to take my own life, and I didn’t want to put my kids and husband through that trauma. But, I did want to die. I wanted a freak car accident to happen and cause me to die! (No the car accident I did get in to was NOT on purpose, that was totally an accident, and I was, and still am, glad I’m alive!). Why was I so depressed? I had no support system! Oh we had support financially, but we had none spiritually or emotionally. I did (and still do) absolutely love my visiting teachers I had, and the ladies I visited. It was a breath of fresh air when they came, and I loved that they visited for an hour. That was probably the best support I did have, but it wasn’t enough. On top of that, I had neighbors/ward members who I thought were my friends. Instead, they judged us as parents. And we can only assume they spread horrible rumors about us because people we talked to all the time all of a sudden stopped talking to us when there was no issue between us and them. We felt unsafe around them. I asked them to talk to me directly when there was a problem between them and my kids and/or me, they never did! Instead, they called the cops! We were terrified of what was going to happen if we stayed! We literally locked up our house to keep our kids safe inside, but that caused more behavior issued in our children. For those who wondered why we moved so quickly and separated our family for a year, THAT is why! It was emotionally, spiritually, and mentally UNSAFE for us to stay! Moving was THE BEST thing we did! We moved to Alabama and I got therapy to help me heal from the trauma of living in Utah (the place that is supposed to provide the MOST support). I graduated from my therapy after 6 weeks because I had been ready for years to heal from the sh** we went through in Utah. I’m sorry, there literally is no better word to explain our experience. However, the hurt is NOT why we left the church! We think it’s ridiculous for us to leave a religion because of being hurt or offended by people, but we COMPLETELY understand when people do. It’s better to leave an abusive environment than to stay in it because that’s where you are “supposed” to be, that’s where your records are. (Note: Not all LDS wards are this way. The one in Alabama that we attended occasionally with my family was absolutely wonderful and I love and miss them all). We got support from our Baptist church in Alabama, but unfortunately, we lived 30 min from the church, so we weren’t able to participate as much as we wanted, and they wanted to be able to help us more when we needed it, but the distance made it a little more difficult). Our Home Baptist church here in Washington has been absolutely AMAZING! We have NEVER asked for help (except a glucometer and rides to and from church when I didn’t have my car and Braden wasn’t here), but they would see a need and IMMEDIATELY help us out! They didn’t even ask us if we needed the help, they just said we are going to help you, and did. I have even been through some emotionally hard times since moving to Washington, but are too personal to talk about. They let us talk, gave us the emotional support we needed, and even found us a great therapist to help us further! LDS wards are NOT the only place you can find the help and support they need. We do not worry at all about having a support system, because we have one!

Q7: 7:37 Where will you go by finding (1) living prophets and apostles who are called by God to give you (2) another resource for counsel, understanding, comfort, and inspiration for the challenges of the day?”

A: (1) Hebrews 1:1-3 “God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in TIME PAST unto the fathers by the prophets, Hath IN THESE LAST DAYS days spoken unto us by his SON, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds; Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high:” We no longer need a Prophet. Prophets were appointed in the Old Testament. But, Jesus is now our Prophet (and most importantly our Savior) and there is no need for any other Prophet. Ephesians 4:8-13 “Wherefore he saith, When he ascended up on high, he led captivity captive, and GAVE GIFTS unto men. (Now that he ascended, what is it but that he also descended first into the lower parts of the earth? He that descended is the same also that ascended up far above all heavens, that he might fill all things.) And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:” This passage is talking about the GIFTS of apostles (messenger/missionary) and prophets (gift of prophecy) NOT the office of apostles and prophets. When the N.T. apostles were looking for a replacement for Judas, they said in Acts 1:21-26 “Wherefore of these men which have companied with us all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us, Beginning from the baptism of John, unto that same day that he was taken up from us, must one be ordained to be a witness with us of his resurrection. And they appointed two, Joseph called Barsabas, who was surnamed Justus, and Matthias. And they prayed, and said, Thou, Lord, which knowest the hearts of all men, shew whether of these two thou hast chosen, That he may take part of this ministry and apostleship, from which Judas by transgression fell, that he might go to his own place. And they gave forth their lots; and the lot fell upon Matthias; and he was numbered with the eleven apostles.” The requirement was for an apostle to be a LITERAL eyewitness of Jesus Christ from the beginning of his ministry to his resurrection. Here’s another proof of that requirement: Acts 5:29-32 “Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men. The God of our fathers raised up Jesus, whom ye slew and hanged on a tree. Him hath God exalted with his right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins. And we are his witnesses of these things; and so is also the Holy Ghost, whom God hath given to them that obey him.” The apostle Paul exclaims: 1 Corinthians 9:1 “Am I am not an apostle? am I not free? have I not seen Jesus Christ our Lord? are not ye my work in the Lord?” Paul saw Jesus on the road to Damascus. 1 Corinthians 15:7-8 “After that, he (Christ) was seen of James; then of ALL the apostles. And LAST of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time.” Paul was the last Apostle. We don’t need prophets and apostles today to rebuild or build a foundation for a church. Christ and his Apostles from the N.T. already did that. 2 Peter 1:12-14 “Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of these things, though ye know them, and be ESTABLISHED in the PRESENT truth. Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle (body), to stir you up by putting you in remembrance; Knowing that shortly I must put off this my tabernacle (die), even as our Lord Jesus Christ hath shewed me. Moreover I will endeavour that ye may be able after my decease to have these things always in remembrance (his written firsthand eyewitness of Jesus Christ, letters to churches, Bible).” There is no need to build a foundation for something that is already established and preserved. So yes, we are ok with being in a church that doesn’t have living Prophets and Apostles on the earth.

(2) resources for counsel, understanding, comfort, and inspiration… : See the answer for the last question.

Q8: 7:50 “Where will you go to find people who live by prescribed set of values and standards you share and want to pass along to your children and grandchildren?”

A: Again, my home church with Olympia Bible Baptist Church. I also found people with the same values and standards at Victory Baptist Church in Orem, UT (which is literally across the street from the ward we were in), and we found them in Grace Baptist Church in Eufaula, AL. I also find them in my dearest and closest friends from high school who I am forever grateful for! ALL of them are Christians of different sects! I LOVED it! I loved our diversity! I loved our open, non judgmental conversations! I loved learning from each other! I miss it and I miss them terribly! I have seen pastor families who has every single one of their children are now pastors, married to pastors, or dedicating their lives to serving God. I have seen several generations of families like this! I am in complete awe of them and I want my family to be just like that. So again, we have no worries about that! I am sure other families in our same situation but with different beliefs are surrounding their children in the environment and social network with the same beliefs and values.

Q9: 8:08 “Where will you go to experience the joy that comes through the saving ordinances and covenants of the temple?”

A: See our previous answer for Q5. We don’t need to be saved through works (or temple ordinances and covenants). That is the BEAUTY of grace! I experience the joy of Jesus’ love and saving grace every day, even during my hard and difficult days, even when I’m stressed, overwhelmed, and tired. I experience this joy when I read my bible, pray, and go to church. I even experience this joy when I’m out in nature!

Q10 (statement): “The answers to your questions (about the church) are always there, and if we seek them, really seek them with full intent and with full purpose of heart, prayerfully, we will eventually find answers to our questions as we continue on the gospel path.”

A: Yes, you are right Elder Ballard, the answers ARE right there. Yes, we searched, we sought, REALLY sought with full intent and full purpose of heart, and prayerfully these findings and decision. It was extremely hard as we know it was/is for SO MANY in our same situation/conclusion. The answers are right there. Unfortunately, many of the answers are sugar coated by the church on their website under their essays. We found firsthand accounts to remove the sugar coating and get the facts (not rumors). We left EVERYTHING we grew up in! That is NO easy decision to make. We wanted our findings to be false, we wanted the LDS church to be true and right, but we also wanted to know what the truth about the LDS church really was. We thought about staying in the church just because almost all of our family is in it and it’s what we grew up in. But, we didn’t want to feel like we were living a lie, and we knew we would be doing that. We didn’t want to go through the motions. We didn’t want to drift further from God by faking our way through. We wanted to draw closer to Him and have a RELATIONSHIP with Him, not just head knowledge. We found that with all the ordinances, covenants, having to speak to bishops/stake presidents about problems in order to repent, etc, it was road blocks between us and God. Now we have no one in between. I can repent (including big things) directly to Him, there is no middle man, there is no middle work. It’s just us and God! And by the way (yes, I know, he’s a great speaker, as my dad likes to say), we left the gospel of the LDS church. We DID NOT leave the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Q11 (statement): 10:22 “I have known those who have drifted and returned after their trial of faith.”

A: Yup, I know MANY who have as well. I don’t know all their circumstances, and I could be completely wrong…but from my findings, it seems the never lost their testimony of the LDS church. They had been hurt, or committed a sin where they had to work their way back into the church. From what I could tell, they WANTED to stay in the church. However, there are MANY more people who leave the church and don’t come back. Guess what, we fall under the latter category. I hate to break it to you. We are NOT coming back! We don’t mind coming to visit your ward when we are with you. Please, still invite us to baptisms, baby blessings, enrichment night, etc. when we are with you or you have a special occasion. We love you and want to support you and your family. We still want to participate as family. We love you!

Q12 (plea): “My heartfelt plea is that we will encourage, accept, understand, and love those who are struggling with their faith. We must NEVER neglect any of our brothers and sisters.”

A: YES! Please do this! Encourage us to continue developing a relationship with God!, You don’t have to agree with our decision, but please, accept that this is OUR decision. We know it’s hard for you to fully wrap your mind around what we know, what we have gone through, what we are going through, and what we now believe. But please just understand that we don’t hate you! Understand that we love you, we love our Mormon brothers and sisters. Understand that for us, it’s about developing our relationship with God. Understand, that we are still the same people. We still have the same interest, desires, characteristics, but now we love spreading Jesus’ saving grace! We also want you to understand, we are NO LONGER struggling with our faith. We came to a decision, and we are beyond happy! We feel free, and we know God is still with us! Please, just love us! We know that there are probably some of you who will delete us from FB or block us and never speak to us again. We are saddened by that possibility, but we are prepared for it. But think about this, is that showing God’s love? We ask that you do NOT pity us or morn for us. We understand why you may, and we understand that you may need some time to process and mourn, just please don’t stay there too long. Please do NOT force LDS doctrine back on to us to try to “bring us back to the fold.” We don’t want you to do that, nor do we need you to do that. Please do NOT judge us. We got enough of that in Utah. If you start judging us, criticizing us, or anything negative and that’s all you do, we may need to delete or block you for a time. Not because we don’t love you, but because we need to protect ourselves from negativity. I (Shreyna) do not need to go down a depressive road again because of people I love and care about hurting me and my family. We truly do love each of you. We want to still be considered your friends and family. We don’t need to let religion divide us. Please, let’s keep a Christ-like atmosphere between us. If you read all the way through this, we thank you! We know this was long. If you are interested in learning more about why we left, please read our next blog.

Love,
Braden and Shreyna Paxson


Saturday, January 18, 2014

Home School

I have been receiving a lot of questions from friends on what we have been doing with our 4 year old to learn how to read. I decided to finally write a blog on my tips for learning how to read (and teaching other subjects).

On Camdyn's first birthday, we got him the Leap Frog "Letter Factory" and "Word Factory" DVDs. He wanted to watch them about a million times a day. By the time he was about 18 months he knew the phonetics of the alphabet, was learning the alphabet names, and learning the ASL alphabet signs. We Would take what he would learn from the DVDs and practice with him in the car or during music time before bed. We Would even spell and sound things out with him. Camdyn wanted to read when he was two. He was so mad that he couldn't. That Christmas we got him the Leap Frog Magnets that you put into a 3 letter base and it helps you sound out and spell the word (We did not pay nearly as much as the one in the link). when we were living with my Mother in Law, she started working with him too. They would spell words in the carpet with their fingers and sound it out until he got it. Then they would do rhyming words. He picked up the patterns of the English Language on his own and is able to read big words (like "ridiculous", "supervision", biblical names/words, etc.) because of him picking up the patterns.


I have also learned that Camdyn is a visual and hands on learner. So anything that has at least one of those helps. Also, if he is not interested in learning something, I don't push the issue because then it will teach him to hate learning that subject, and I teach it to him when he asks me questions regarding that subject or he shows interest in it, that way learning is always fun for him! The same even applies to reading. When he was about 18-20 months old I tried to teach him to read using his letter blocks, but he wasn't ready for that step yet, even though he showed interest in learning how to read when we weren't doing it with blocks. He just didn't have the attention span to sit down with me and try to read himself (but each child is different). Even though Camdyn is reading, learning ASL, science, and other things, his sister, Abigail is learning at a slower pace. It is not because she is not as smart as he is, or because I am not working with her as much, it's because she naturally likes to go at a slower pace. She is just as smart as Camdyn is. Abi is 3 years old and is just now becoming interested in learning her alphabet. And that is OK, and perfect for her! She will eventually get to the same level as Camdyn, it doesn't matter how fast she learns the same thing. Every child needs to go at their own pace, don't rush them or slow them down.


In Summary, my biggest tips for teaching children how to read and teaching any subject is: 1) learning what their unique learning style is, 2) be creative and find ways that will help the individual child learn best and be fun for them, 3) If they are not ready for that subject, don't push them/make them learn it, they will come to you when they are ready. Also, if it is something they love learning, but after a few minutes (or longer) lose interest, they are ready to move on to something else, let them. Lessons don't have to be 30-60 minutes. It can be 1 min. 4) use everyday activities (cooking, cleaning, looking at signs while walking or driving, etc) as learning opportunities (for example, we do math while cooking, or draw letters, numbers, words in flour). We never do sit down lessons unless the children ask for a sit down lesson. 


Another thing that has recently started helping us more with our children not only in learning how to educate them better, but also to help support each child's unique nature is Carol Tuttle's book "The Child Whisperer". (We are not being paid to promote her book. We just absolutely love the things she teaches!


We hope you have enjoyed this post and that it is helpful. We love homeschooling our children. Even if your children go to school, you can still be their teacher at home. The more involved you are in your child's education, the more they will thrive in their education. ~ Shreyna








Camdyn reading at 3 yrs old